Names, blood ties, Chin Peng, Kuan Yew dan lain lain...

There has been some confusion lately over who is related to whom caused by that mentally challenged Kepala Batas Member of Parliament (MP) Siti Mastura Mohamad, of PAS infamy. She decided, of her own free will, to start piecing together how the Lims, Peng and the Yews are related. Thank God she did not bring the Koks into the equation.

Hello can I speak to Mr Kok?

Which Mr Kok do you want?

How many Koks do you have?

As confusing as these Chinese names are….let us be grateful that Mastura did not stray into the Malay side of things. Can you imagine how confused she can get?

But first things first. From her attempts to link up the Lims, the Peng and the Yews it would be safe to assume that this Mastura has an entry-level brain as far as one of the brain functions is concerned: Intelligence. Entry-level is very basic. Atas sikit from the bangan level, but still below bodoh.

The first thing she would have certainly picked up would be… Ahmad Zahid and Ahmad Maslan must be from the same family. Both got Ahmad ma! No lah! Although Ahmad Maslam has been known to have wished that he and Ahmad Zahid were related because when you are family, you take care of each other kan?

And Mastura must think that Dr Mahathir and Dr Wan Azizah are from the same clans. I know they both got “Dr” before their names, but Mastura, 'DR' is a profession…it stands for DOCTOR. Not a clan name.

No, no, no Mastura...Aiman Athirah Sabu and Mohamad Sabu are not brothers and sisters. and Dr Zaliha Mustapha is not the daughter of Mustapha Sakmud.

She also thinks that Sanusi, up north in Kedah and Nazri, our Ambassaor in the US are related, but on the mother’s side of both families (but twice removed) as evident from the fact that both their names end in i. Wrong again Mastura. They are like chalk and cheese! Please do not presume that all Malays with name sending in i are related.

Rafizi and Hadi both have names ending in i and I know they are not related. Just watch them when they go to Friday prayers. One used a Towel on his head and the other a Songkok. Totally different head gears. That tells us that there is no way they can be related.

If Mastura wants to know the difference between Datuks and Abduls...easy! Yes, they both come before some names, but it really is easy to tell them apart. Those with Datuks can easily be found by just throwing a stone in a crowd. The Abduls are a bit harder to find.

The only thing Mastura got right was to guess that the Anwar Ibrahim in the prime minister's office and the Anwar Ibrahim in the Finance Ministry, are one and the same person. Clever girl.

Guan Eng pon satu…why take that idiot to court? The most I will do is just say “You stupid Idiot" and leave her alone.