When you are young, you do not think much about what life would be like when you are 75. You do not think much about what life would be like without your dear wife. You do not think that you would be living life in a city that seems, at that time, many light years away - Melbourne.
You did not think that there could be a time when you have not seen your daughter and your grandchildren for over ten years because you are living in Melbourne, and they are living in Canada and you do not have the means to visit each other. At 25, you never thought that life would ever be complicated by race, religion, and politics.
All this has come to pass, and now, at 75, I have begun to think about what the rest of my life would be like. My yesterdays have all vanished in a haze and the words of that Beatles song, HELP plays in my head constantly.
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
(Now) but now these days are gone
I'm not so self-assured
now I find I've changed my mind
And opened up the doors
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me...
And from whom, am I asking for help?
Nobody and everybody really...not so much as asking for help, but what I really want is that life, that state of mind, that I had when I was 25 years old.
I want to go back to that time in the early 1970s when I started my working life in Penang. Then I was just 25 years old, recently married, living in a terrace house in Island Glades, and embarking on my journey in life.
What I remember of that time was simply this. The people around me were not identified by race or religion. We were all trying to earn a decent living and living together in a community and society that understood that we were each different from the other in race, religion, and in even what we eat, wear, and the way we talk, but it was okay! We were still all living together and respecting the diversity within us and, even at times, celebrating that diversity. That life I miss. That life I want back.
But, will it ever come back?
It is now early morning in Melbourne and my thoughts are often with those people that are no longer with me, but I also need to think of what the coming days will be like for me. Yes, at 75 you think in terms of what the coming days will be like. Anything beyond that is a plus!
My needs are few, and my wants even fewer. What matters today is that my health is bearable...not good...bearable will do. I am not nostalgic about the past, but I want to have a state of mind where things that really matter in my life, are in the right place within my head.
Let me explain...
In my head, there is a place for right and there is a place for wrong.
It has been bothering me that for the last six years, Sam Ke Ting had been arrested, spent time in jail, and persecuted...and I repeat...PERSECUTED...by the powers that be, not for reckless and dangerous driving, but because she is a Chinese who, through no fault of her own, caused the deaths of eight Malay boys who were riding "basikal lajak" at 3 am in 2017.
It is poetic justice that a Malay, the leader of the COA judges, Datuk Hadhariah Syed Ismail, is the one who told Sam "You are now a free person". That is now one less burden that I as a Malay, now carry in the "wrong" part of my head. I can now look at Sam and tell her, there is justice, eventually.
There is also a place in my head for right.
I want a King, a prime minister, and ministers doing the right thing for us all. In Malaysia today, doing the right thing takes enormous courage. From what they have done in these last few months, I know our King, our PMX and his ministers have the courage to do the right thing by all of us. And I do not doubt that they will continue to do the right thing in the coming days as their resolve, their commitment, and their promise to us to do what is best for us and our nation, are tested to the limits by the vested interests of corrupt and irresponsible politicians who intend to do mischief and harm to all of us. So that place for "right", in my head, is sitting comfortably in repose while the hard work is being done by our King, our PMX, and his cabinet.
Of course, there are other rights and wrongs that need to be attended to, but the fundamentals are in place. The foundations have been laid. It would be hard to go wrong from here. We are moving forward together towards a shared goal and a shared belief that together, we shall overcome.
We shall overcome those who seek to use race and religion for their own ends. We shall overcome the evils and destructive ills of corrupt politicians. There will be an irrevocable drift away from extremism in any form, shape, or manner - so vital in a multiracial society such as ours....and all this will happen because there is now the political will to make all happen. And I am blessed to have lived to see all this happen in my lifetime.
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