Becoming a Malay.........

I was born in October 1947 in Segambut. My father, born in Pekan Pahang, was a Special Officer with the Police then, and my mother. I think, was born in Klang. As a police officer, my father was soon transferred to Langkawi, Pendang, Jitra, Alor Gajah and Tampin. I cannot recall my time living in Segambut, Langkawi, Pendang and Jitra but I remembered our time Tampin. We lived at the bottom of the hill where the General Hospital was then located. It was during our time in Tampin that my father went to London to attend a course as part of his training in the Police. I remember that time well because I was then the only child and a lot of time was spent together with my mother while my father was away in London.

After Alor Gajah my father was transferred to Johor Baru. We stayed at Jalan Storey and I started school at Ngee Heng primary school. There are some hazy memories of my time at Ngee Heng...Chinese, Indians, Sikh, Malays school kids, magic shows at the school. I was not yet a Malay then.

After JB, my father was transferred to Pengkalan Cheapa in Kelantan and I went to school at SIC - Sultan Ismail College. Our house in Pengkalan Cheapa was beside the Airfield...I would not call it an Airport ...just an airfield, and what I remembered of Pengkalan Chepa was that it was a village sort of a place. School was still a place full of Chinese, Indians, Malays and the odd sikh boys with turbans. I was not a Malay then.

From Pengkalan Chepa we moved to Kuala Lumpur - living in Kampong Kassipilay close to where my grandfather lived. Our neighbors were Indians and there was an Indian Temple nearby. I also remember a Dhoby with plenty of Indian workers and a Toddy shop also well patronized by Indians. The shops that I remember going to in Kampong Kassipilay belong to the Chinese Towkays...yes even then we called them Towkays. ...and in Kampong Kassipilay the friends I had were mostly Chinese and Indians. I was not yet a Malay then.

I was then sent to MCKK where I was to spend the next five years of my life until Lower Six. The headmaster was Mr. NJ Ryan a mat salleh. We had Chinese, Indian, Americans (Peace Corp) and other Mat Salleh teachers who educated us and taught us about life. My fellow students were Malays. Our prefects were Malays. What I remembered most about discipline in MCKK was this: the most fearsome (and they were also among the most respected and most loved) of our teachers in MCKK were the Chinese and Indians. They instilled discipline without fear or favor... nor were the royals among us spared. Throughout the five years that I was in MCKK I was not yet a Malay.

While I was in MCKK, I remember going back for holidays to Penang - to our house in front of the Penang Free School. What I remembered of Penang was simply this - there were Chinese shops, Chinese rickshaw pullers, Chinese restaurants ...Chinese everywhere you looked...even the police had many Chinese officers. ...but I was still not yet a Malay.

After MCKK, I went to Ealing Tech in London to continue my studies at my father's expense.

It was while I was in London that the May 13 riots happened. I remember going to Malaysia Hall in Bryston Place the moment I heard about the riots and there at Malaysia Hall, we Malaysian - Chinese, Indians, Malays and other Malaysians gathered together to comfort each other about and worry about our family back home. We were all Malaysian then. I was not yet a Malay.

After London, I was back in KL to start work. I went for an interview with Malaysian National Insurance (MNI) at Wisma Yakin for a position as a Trainee Underwriter. The General Manager of MNI then was Mr Putra - an Indian and among the MNI staff at Wisma Yakin were some Chinese too. I got the job and was informed that a group of us was to be sent to the Bombay College of Insurance for training as Underwriters.

It was at the airport, while boarding our flight to Bombay that I realized that all the trainee underwriters going to India were Malays and this was confirmed when we all checked in at the Hostel in Bombay, that evening. In the five years that I was in MCKK I never felt myself to really be anything else but a Malaysian...but in Bombay, over 6200km away...in a hostel in Bombay among many millions of Indians in India...it somehow registered in my head that I was in the hostel, in Bombay to attend training at the Bombay College of insurance because I was a Malay.

So it was in Bombay that I became aware that from now on, things were going to be different for me in Malaysia because from now on, it was to my advantage to be first, a Malay. So in reality it was in the early 1970's - at the age of 23 that I began to realize that being a Malay in Malaysia made me different from the Chinese, the Indians, and the others. They would not have been chosen by MNI to go to Bombay to be trained as trainee underwriters. I, as Malay could. And that was when I became a Malay!

In truth, I have always been a Malay. My parents instilled in me the manners, grace, and goodness that we Malays inherently have.....and all this we Malays have in spades, but it was nothing to shout about. We lived our lives as Malays, and that included respect and inclusiveness of the others who are also Malaysians like us. There was no need to shout out to others that we were Malays....and so we were Malaysian first. But the realization that being a Malay first meant Ketuanan Melayu in all things Malaysians, was, at first, exhilarating! But in time, being a Malay became, for me, a burden that I would rather not carry.

Becoming a Malaysian again was to take many years later.

For sure, as that Din guy had infamously said, I am a Malay first. ...but what kind of Malay have we Malays become? For what the Malays have now become, I would rather be known first as a Malaysian, who also happens to be a Malay.