Mr Sultan and his Pendek son are telling us that black pants are the traditional attire of Johor Royalty! Yeah, read that again…black pants are the traditional attire of Johor Royalty! He he!
The younger, but richer Pendek, said that the teluk belanga baju Melayu paired with black pants is the traditional attire of Johor royalty. “Because only the royal family can - or is worthy to - wear black pants. Many outsiders and certain individuals do not like or criticize the Johor royal family, but want to imitate the Johor royal style,” he wrote. Really Pendek?
Why only Johor Royals can wear black pants? Let me take an educated guess.....
Is it because when you pee, if you are wearing black pants, it will not be noticeable? And who pees most in his trousers? Mr Sultan or Pendek? Has it happened before? In Public? During what ceremony? Or is it not just peeing that they cannot control? Oh dear God, don't tell me that they also cannot control their bowel movements! Incontinence, and also, no bowel control. Did anyone tell them about pampers? Or better still, just stay in the Istana and learn to use the bathrooms in the Istana and not embarrass themselves in public!
Why should only the Royals of Johor who have incontinence and no bowel control have the privilege of wearing black pants to camouflage any accidents that can happen to them? If the Johor Royals truly love Bangsa Johor, then they should also allow every Bangsa Johor to also have the same privilege. Aiyah these Royals always not wanting themselves to be embarrassed, but ok if Bangsa Johor are embarrassed!
I hope Pendek is a bit more forthcoming about how these Johor Royals will be wearing their pants. I hope not this way....
Please Pendek, or Mr Sultan, do not let those black pants sag too much when you are wearing them. WHY? Because it sends a wrong message to people. Medical research have found that around 8 in 10 saggers suffered from sexual problems like premature ejaculation. Now we do not want Pendek or Mr Sultan sending that message to Bangsa Johor or to anybody else! Kan?
And I think somebody better tell Pendek and Mr Sultan that they will look ridiculous wearing those sagging black pants in public. In the Istana, Ok lah, but in public, a no no!
Imagine Pendek or Mr Sultan walking around KL with sagging black pants! Aiyah, not only can we see their underwear but the way their bodies are shaped, they will not be able to hold up the trousers up at all. Every few yards that they walk, they would have to be pulling their pants up. Every few yards…pull their black pants up. Not only is it very annoying for them, but what if they are not able to pull the trousers up in time, and they are left only with their underwear.....in public…in the lobby of a five-star hotel…in KL! Even if you are wearing Calvin Klein underwear...still malu kan?
Maybe the teluk belanga baju Melayu top might be long enough to cover strategic parts of their body should their sagging pants drop off completely. Maybe! But at least there is one comforting thought : these Johor Royals are all so pendek that the top of their teluk belanga baju Melayu should be long to cover their 'crown jewels' even if they lose their black pants.
One minor detail that these Johor Royals seem to have overlooked before they put in their ridiculous claim that only Johor Royals can wear black pants! Did they know that all the pelayan in Istana Kedah pakai baju hitam and seluar hitam. So camna Mr Sultan? Are you putting yourself and Johor Royals at the same level as these Pelayan in Istana Kedah? I am sure even the Pelayan in the Kedah Istana will be insulted if you claim to be on the same level as them, because they know they are better!
Last question…that letter that the Johor Royal Council of the Royal Court wrote to Sallehudin Ayub over the state dress code when he was photograph wearing a baju Melayu with black trousers during Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebrations… has he replied to that letter? Or has he decided to ignore that stupid idiotic letter? My sources tell me that Sallehudin threw the letter in the waste paper basket.
After all, in the times that we now live in, each of us ada hak untuk memakai what ever color pants we want to wear! Kan?
Comments